Game-winning Trap Defense

Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm-Flailing Harden!

Eff your championship window

From: Burger

Love all my Knicks fan friends (not all, but you know what I mean) tryna throw Bulls salt in the game. LOL, you WISH you had whatever window we had or didn't have. L.O.L.

From: Genius

I don't know how to do that shoulder shrug thing. But #Rings are all that matter to me. Respect your Jordan, could give two shits about your "window." Here's where I'd photoshop some sort of Lebron pic into a scary movie scene at a window so it'd look creepy, but yeah, don't have the skills for that. 

From: MrCHUPON

You ask, I deliver.

From: Genius

That's fuckin creepy. Thank you.

From: MrCHUPON

That's a dope shirt.

I Really Hate The Lakers And Mavs

Dear Buddha,

Ideally, these Mavericks and Lakers teams would cease to exist. But I know you aren't violent, and I know you promote love. Thusforth, please kindly transmogrify each and every Laker and Maverick on the court and on the bench into puppies.

Neutered puppies.

Also, Jack Nicholson can be an owl and Mark Cuban can be a hippo.

Thank you kindly.
Your Devoted Disciple

PS - Forget the neutering. Just make them all female, like in Jurassic Park, except without amphibian DNA so they cannot reproduce. Dirk and Kobe are already technically female dogs anyway, so there is less work for you to do.

Thread Lexicon: Thread

"thread"

The thread is a massive e-mail chain started with the sole purpose of talking about NBA Basketball during both the season and off-season. It began during the 2008 NBA Playoffs, after which we were informed that indeed, "anything is possible." Including Kevin Garnett and Joakim Noah going out on an ice cream date.

I don't know the exact number, but surely the thread has surpassed 100,000 messages, based on Gmail's 100 message limit per conversation (before it begins a new one with the same subject line). It's even got me marked as a spammer, occasionally preventing me from sending e-mails from my main account for 24 hours.

The thread is responsible for thread lexicon: lames, fuck Bogut, fake ass king, and various player nicknames. We'll get to them in the coming millenia. Just search for or click on the label "thread lexicon" for all, er, thread lexicon.

Long Lost DeMarcus Cousins Watch Dec. 7th, 2010

Hey, I didn't know Memphis Tigers' Coach Josh Pastner also stars in FOX's television series "Bones" as a baby-faced shrink!

Coach Josh Pastner and actor John Francis Daley

Hey! Who likes Call of Duty? Who likes Kobe?

A MrCHUPON Production. Naturally.

Long Lost DeMarcus Cousins Watch Nov. 30th, 2010

I repeat: This actually has nothing to do with DeMarcus Cousins, but moreso lookalikes who could be long lost cousins separated at birth or some shit. I dunno. Go away. No, don't go away, look at these:

Dale Davis and D.L. Hughley

This is a classic from the old Talkin' Mouf page before it was burned to the ground by secret Assassini. I don't think D.L. appreciated it back in the day, which is why he changed his hair.

Tayshaun Prince and Redman

Ah what a rush. Method Man and Redman, Starsky and Hutch. Well, they both look high in these pics, so there's that. 

Andre Kirilenko's Hair and Zangief's Hair

Ummm, I need help here. This might not fit.

Andre Kirilenko's Hair and Guile's Hair

Maybe a bit better. I'm not sure. I think I'm in trouble here.

Fuck Bogut and Leelee Sobieski

Ah. All better. (Not sure who it's more insulting to--him or her. Fuck Bogut.)

Long Lost DeMarcus Cousins Watch Nov. 29th, 2010

No, this has nothing to do with DeMarcus, but don't Horace and Darren share the same juxtaposed gangsta-lean-and-chipper-because-I'm-slightly-lifted-smile in their photos?

Blake and Timofey made a poster for EA Sports!

Kaboom.

Grant Hill drinks sprite.

Play Basketball For Duke. Breed a Rhino.

Notes From The Thread, Nov. 17, 2010

Pipes: Mike _'Antoni's coaching just makes my dick itch.

Flamingo: Real talk--women sell their eggs all the time. Dell Curry could start a similar business. Seth & Steph are a powerful resume.

Grimlock: Being a student of Sabermetrics, and being a hater of lame euro bigs, and specifically being of the opinion that all 07 Mavericks not named Dirk would have still advanced to the finals I've been imagining a new stat.  We already have WAR: "wins above replacement." I propose "Wins Above a Player Who Ceased to Exist." It would be called WARP, because it would be determined by going back in time and shooting the player's mother in the head the night he was conceived.

Izzy Smoove: I still remember when I first saw Brittney Griner. I was like, ummm... wow, that's a big girl.

Grimlock: Current beer pong record: 1-1. I blame the lack of hip hop music for the loss. [Ed. note: This has nothing to do with anything. I just chuckled.]

Grimlock: Waka Flocka Flame looks like that homie from Goodburger.

Me: While we're on rappers... Shyne is now getting in touch with his Stou_emire side and has embraced Judaism. Instead of "Shyne", I suppose we should call him "Stein" from here on out: http://www.nytimes.com/2010/11/11/arts/music/11shyne.html You know what that gets from me?

  

Flamingo: San Antonio is 6-1 and Coach Pop used to work for the CIA... not that the two are necessarily related, but I'm just sayin'...

Categories are informative

(Not pictured: Antlers, headlights, SUV)

(Unavailable for comment: Low-post game)