Joakim Noah doesn't like Kevin Garnett. This isn't surprising. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if a lot of players around the league just don't effing like dude. Charlize I mean Charlie Villenueva made it no secret on Twitter, saying that, "KG called me a cancer patient, I'm pissed because, u know how many people died from cancer, and he's tossing it like it's a joke. Also, typing on Twitter makes u use internet speak like replacing 'you' with 'u'. Also, I should have taken it up with him in the tunnel 2 the locker room after the game like a man instead of tweeting like an angsty My Chemical Romance fan."
...
Ok, so he didn't say the last two sentences. (Also note that I don't condone the throwing around of "cancer patient" in insults, but moving on.)
And according to columnist Bill Simmons, KG routinely barks shit about his opponents' mothers seemingly at "no one in particular" while shooting free throws. Look at his face on camera while he shoots free throws, and you'll see that he's talking to the ball like Karl Malone used to do before he retired after getting psyched out by Scottie Pippen, not winning a ring the three times he had a remote chance to (THIS IS WHAT YOU SEE WHEN YOU COME INTO MY LANE) and trying to lumberjackoff Kobe's wife.
What were we talking about, again?
Oh right--KG. Apparently, KG also just doesn't like Euros and young bucks. (I wonder what that means for those who are both, like this guy.) Apparently, KG needs to be more "sweet" (with Joakim completely ignoring what "sweet" means if you're using it as slang... or maybe he said that on purpose?):
"I had his poster in my room. I used to wear his jersey. And the truth is my rookie year, I was in admiration of this guy, and he kind of shut me down. And he was very mean to me my rookie year. And he's only mean to the young guys and the [European players], for some reason. I don't know why, but that's who he doesn't like. He's not nice. I talk a lot of trash out there, but c'mon, be a little sensitive. Be sweet."
(Source: http://sports.espn.go.com/chicago/nba/news/story?id=5789761)
"Sweet," huh?
"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH! CONGRATULATION ON GETTING DRAFTED! THAT IS A MAGNIFICENT BOWTIE U HAVE ON THERE! I AM SMITTEN BY UR BONY FINGERS WHICH I AM SURE U R TALENTED WITH IN OTHER WAYZ IF YOU CATCH MY DRIFT LOLOL LETS GO AND GET DINER SOMTIME BECAUSE U KNO ANYTHING IS POSSIBULLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111one"
No, THIS is sweet:
But fuck it. I root for the Bulls, so uh, go sweet. Joakim may have very well been trying the sarcastic or deadpan humor route, which I fully support. And regardless, I hope they smash the Golden State Tru Warierz tonight. In any case, "AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!"
Hey, did you know that Noah and his girlfriend have the same hair?
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I eat hair.