Talkin' Mouf: Eff your championship window

Tuesday, May 19, 2015

Eff your championship window

From: Burger

Love all my Knicks fan friends (not all, but you know what I mean) tryna throw Bulls salt in the game. LOL, you WISH you had whatever window we had or didn't have. L.O.L.

From: Genius

I don't know how to do that shoulder shrug thing. But #Rings are all that matter to me. Respect your Jordan, could give two shits about your "window." Here's where I'd photoshop some sort of Lebron pic into a scary movie scene at a window so it'd look creepy, but yeah, don't have the skills for that.

From: MrCHUPON

You ask, I deliver.

From: Genius

That's fuckin creepy. Thank you.

From: MrCHUPON

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I eat hair.

What is Talkin' Mouf?

"Talkin' Mouf" is a phrase coined by an old high school classmate, Christopher Smalls. During a heated tournament game of hoops on the hard concrete at the Rucker--ok, it was actually a friendly pickup game during gym class at Stuyvesant High School--someone was having a particularly good game and engaged in some benevolent smack talk. "Ooooh, he talkin' MOUF!" exclaimed Smalls. And thus, the universe's best and most popular (not really) catchphrase was born.

Trailblazing hack writer, who's still not really a writer, MrCHUPON (that's me) took this phrase and used it as a name for a hoops-focused page of his pathetic NYU student website. The page was almost entirely done up in the style of SLAM Magazine's "Hype" and HoopsTV's "Smack Talk" (I think it was called that). He even had a line or two periodically submitted to "Smack Talk" (it had to do with Vin Baker getting a double double less often than he had double chins).

He then went on to write for the NYU men's basketball team, the Violets (yeah motherfucker, that was our team name, get off my back), for the school paper, the Washington Square News where he was given a column by sports editor and roommate Lawrence Chan, which he named--what else?--"Talkin' Mouf." Which, of course, the NON-sports copy editors quickly renamed "The Talkin' Mouf", before proceeding to check his articles for "spelling errors" such as "Shaquille O'Neal" (which they corrected to "O'Neill"--really? REALLY??).

Alas, those columns are old news, and his NYU homepage has been since taken down, but thanks to the mysteries of the internet, "Talkin' Mouf" is newly revived and ready for--well, not a damn thing. This page is unintentionally unprofessional, lazy, and mean.