Talkin' Mouf: Notes From The Thread Nov. 11, 2010

Friday, November 12, 2010

Notes From The Thread Nov. 11, 2010

A little bit of background. There is a neverending e-mail thread between me and several of my cronies on which we talk shit about hoops. End a little bit of background.

Games on the docket:
Warriors @ Bulls
Celtics @ Heat
Lakers @ Nuggets

Flamingo: Noah is sensitive..."Lebron please stop dancing as you rape my team", "KG stop dissing me in Shakespearean sonnets", "Dad stop cheating on mom"...

Flamingo: None of the 'Melos play defense in his new commercial.
Me: Are any of them wearing a Knicks jersey?

Izzy Smoove: Yawn @ Charles Barkley. I'm just waiting for when the Heat start winning so he can place LeBron's cock and balls back in his mouth where they were for 7 years.

Flamingo: Dude...Pat Riley started the game sitting in section 347...now in the 4th quarter, he's currently seated in the third row...

Burger: Kobe in Colorado! Chup, I request some #KGTrashTalk.
Me: The defiler is back! All Colorado hamlets--sound thine bells, hide thine young lasses from Kobe! #LALatDEN #KGTrashTalk

Bigguh: Did anyone notice that when a fight broke out in the crowd in the 2nd quarter of the Lakers/Nuggets game, the camera ended up on Ron Artest for like ten seconds?

Grimlock: Ray Allen heard the "Ice Box" 2010 Finals remix and got a li'l upset.

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I eat hair.

What is Talkin' Mouf?

"Talkin' Mouf" is a phrase coined by an old high school classmate, Christopher Smalls. During a heated tournament game of hoops on the hard concrete at the Rucker--ok, it was actually a friendly pickup game during gym class at Stuyvesant High School--someone was having a particularly good game and engaged in some benevolent smack talk. "Ooooh, he talkin' MOUF!" exclaimed Smalls. And thus, the universe's best and most popular (not really) catchphrase was born.

Trailblazing hack writer, who's still not really a writer, MrCHUPON (that's me) took this phrase and used it as a name for a hoops-focused page of his pathetic NYU student website. The page was almost entirely done up in the style of SLAM Magazine's "Hype" and HoopsTV's "Smack Talk" (I think it was called that). He even had a line or two periodically submitted to "Smack Talk" (it had to do with Vin Baker getting a double double less often than he had double chins).

He then went on to write for the NYU men's basketball team, the Violets (yeah motherfucker, that was our team name, get off my back), for the school paper, the Washington Square News where he was given a column by sports editor and roommate Lawrence Chan, which he named--what else?--"Talkin' Mouf." Which, of course, the NON-sports copy editors quickly renamed "The Talkin' Mouf", before proceeding to check his articles for "spelling errors" such as "Shaquille O'Neal" (which they corrected to "O'Neill"--really? REALLY??).

Alas, those columns are old news, and his NYU homepage has been since taken down, but thanks to the mysteries of the internet, "Talkin' Mouf" is newly revived and ready for--well, not a damn thing. This page is unintentionally unprofessional, lazy, and mean.