Talkin' Mouf: Ain't no such thing as halfway Cook

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Ain't no such thing as halfway Cook

Flamingo: Is there a rule that if your last name is Cook you have to shoot whenever you get the ball?

*internet search churn*

Brian Cook: 0.100 FG%, career chucker
Daequan Cook: 0.267 FG%, career chucker
Omar Cook: 0.333 FG%, no career

Me: Yes. Yes there is.

2 comments:

UnknownNovember 10, 2010 at 10:32 PM
I love the categories...but you knew that already.
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MatthewNovember 11, 2010 at 12:52 PM
omar played for Portland very briefly and is now in greece
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I eat hair.

What is Talkin' Mouf?

"Talkin' Mouf" is a phrase coined by an old high school classmate, Christopher Smalls. During a heated tournament game of hoops on the hard concrete at the Rucker--ok, it was actually a friendly pickup game during gym class at Stuyvesant High School--someone was having a particularly good game and engaged in some benevolent smack talk. "Ooooh, he talkin' MOUF!" exclaimed Smalls. And thus, the universe's best and most popular (not really) catchphrase was born.

Trailblazing hack writer, who's still not really a writer, MrCHUPON (that's me) took this phrase and used it as a name for a hoops-focused page of his pathetic NYU student website. The page was almost entirely done up in the style of SLAM Magazine's "Hype" and HoopsTV's "Smack Talk" (I think it was called that). He even had a line or two periodically submitted to "Smack Talk" (it had to do with Vin Baker getting a double double less often than he had double chins).

He then went on to write for the NYU men's basketball team, the Violets (yeah motherfucker, that was our team name, get off my back), for the school paper, the Washington Square News where he was given a column by sports editor and roommate Lawrence Chan, which he named--what else?--"Talkin' Mouf." Which, of course, the NON-sports copy editors quickly renamed "The Talkin' Mouf", before proceeding to check his articles for "spelling errors" such as "Shaquille O'Neal" (which they corrected to "O'Neill"--really? REALLY??).

Alas, those columns are old news, and his NYU homepage has been since taken down, but thanks to the mysteries of the internet, "Talkin' Mouf" is newly revived and ready for--well, not a damn thing. This page is unintentionally unprofessional, lazy, and mean.