Talkin' Mouf: lady hoops

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Boys Don't Cry

Riptor: I was just watching the UConn-Baylor game and Brittney Griner gets more ticky tack fouls than Durant. I still don't see how a motionless person with arms raised can possibly foul someone. Especially on 3 straight possessions.

I can't do this anymore.

It also didn't help that it was some freshman chick playing D. This all happened in like the first 2 minutes of the game and it's like UConn's first game of the season or something. I legitimately felt bad for chick. I mean, your first time out for the UConn juggernaut, and you get tasked to defend some colossus. And your perfectly sound D still isn't good enough. I could just see her crying in the locker room.

...That's what girls do, right?

What is Talkin' Mouf?

"Talkin' Mouf" is a phrase coined by an old high school classmate, Christopher Smalls. During a heated tournament game of hoops on the hard concrete at the Rucker--ok, it was actually a friendly pickup game during gym class at Stuyvesant High School--someone was having a particularly good game and engaged in some benevolent smack talk. "Ooooh, he talkin' MOUF!" exclaimed Smalls. And thus, the universe's best and most popular (not really) catchphrase was born.

Trailblazing hack writer, who's still not really a writer, MrCHUPON (that's me) took this phrase and used it as a name for a hoops-focused page of his pathetic NYU student website. The page was almost entirely done up in the style of SLAM Magazine's "Hype" and HoopsTV's "Smack Talk" (I think it was called that). He even had a line or two periodically submitted to "Smack Talk" (it had to do with Vin Baker getting a double double less often than he had double chins).

He then went on to write for the NYU men's basketball team, the Violets (yeah motherfucker, that was our team name, get off my back), for the school paper, the Washington Square News where he was given a column by sports editor and roommate Lawrence Chan, which he named--what else?--"Talkin' Mouf." Which, of course, the NON-sports copy editors quickly renamed "The Talkin' Mouf", before proceeding to check his articles for "spelling errors" such as "Shaquille O'Neal" (which they corrected to "O'Neill"--really? REALLY??).

Alas, those columns are old news, and his NYU homepage has been since taken down, but thanks to the mysteries of the internet, "Talkin' Mouf" is newly revived and ready for--well, not a damn thing. This page is unintentionally unprofessional, lazy, and mean.